where did respect leave my pen

when my lips paid you disservice

and i left with the curses

this cursor

blinking blackout

and with a wink i see the stars

my arms are empty

cheap words and a keyboard

a hero’s disapproval

write something of substance

don’t be the villain

i ached for my removal

and that set the motion going

spiralling in threes and fives and times

i didn’t say i’m done

i just said i’m trying

oh boy

there is a difference

not anymore

that’s not fib law

just a pattern

where everything seemed to happen

too soon

too fast

now i am a stranger

a danger to the flavour

that tastes secure and vanilla

here by the safety of the fucking tightrope

we all walk

some fall

should know better

than to be vulnerable

hounds with tongues

that lick hunger young

brutes with calculators and compasses

navigating through a single truth

and that question

that begs us all

at the traffic lights

and in the circles

where we buy books and burgers

and sometimes

cigarettes

cloth and loathe that burn

not quite scattered

just torn

worn thorns

almost ashes

circling around us all

the vultures free

the human needs

aggressive me

passive we

don’t fall asleep

we need to eat

don’t dare dream

hand squeeze me

all itches unwelcome

undone

undusted

free

unburdened by the need to know the means

of how we could kiss fire

and still be seen

like a viking

or a cave painting

waiting

for the accountant

patient

consoling time with numbers

a practice

ancient

wait then

for what

a payslip to heaven

but it feels like i bought a lemon

truth

hard

like bedrock in a hotel

so near

it could almost be home

but not here

not like this

not alone

waiting